Stepping Tigers and Cleaving Cicades
October 8th, 2008 | by Karinna Kittles-Karsten | Published in Sex Tête | 1 Comment
Dear Karinna,
I have been with my husband for 5 years (2 married) and we have sex often, but I never orgasm during intercourse. During foreplay I do, but never during sex and I feel bad that I don’t because I know my husband tries to make me. (And I feel unsatisfied.) I have read some books and tried watching porn with him but I have not been successful. Is there something I can do to help myself out? (I have read that only a certain percentage of women actually orgasm during sex, but I think that any woman can, I just don’t know how to.) Please help me.
– L.
Dear L.,
There are several ways that you can begin to experience orgasm during intercourse.
In my DVD Sacred Love-Making the first tip I suggest, and this is the most important, is to do a personal practice called the Breath of Pleasure to start to refine your sexual energy. This technique translates denser, less responsive sexual energy within your Sexual Palace into much lighter, more open and receptive sexual energy. This is much more than thinking about being open, this is an actual alchemical sexual process that you can develop day-to-day to experience much more sexual pleasure during sex.
Secondly, you need to have you and your husband try sexual positions that will stimulate your G-spot such as the Chinese Lovemaking positions called Stepping Tigers and Cleaving Cicades. Activating your G-spot through these sexual positions combined with more awareness and sensitivity in the Sexual Palace from the Breath of Pleasure practice will help bring you into that orgasmic experience that you are craving.
And thirdly, you need to really surrender to the experience of pleasure. If you hang on and stay in control of the sensations it is much more difficult to orgasm. Relax, open yourself emotionally and physically to the love and pleasure that is being expressed, and feel the orgasmic experience take you over.
All of these suggestions– including the lovemaking positions mentioned above– are beautifully depicted in my new Sacred Love-Making DVD so you can watch how to do them first and then practice the techniques together.
Wishing You Sacred Love,
Karinna Kittles-Karsten
October 18th, 2008 at 11:11 am (#)
Karinna,
I often read that vaginal, vs. clitoral orgasms, are a myth according to the scientific establishment (although I bet they have a lot of fun during those experiments ;). As a woman, I know that there is a fundamental difference between the two, the first being an all encompassing experience which, as you say, requires complete surrender vs. a sneeze.
Your advice regarding how to cultivate the attitude, and I believe it is an attitude, requires an appreciation of sexual pleasure that views it as a sacred ritual rather than an aerobic exercise. Your DVD is clear about this distinction and it is very refreshing to hear your voice amongst all of the static.
Again, thank you.
Isabelle