Dear Karinna,

I am in love with a beautiful woman named Samara but I am afraid of having deep feelings for her because I am afraid I will get hurt. She is so loving and kind but something is holding me back– even though deep down I know I want to be with her and only her. My emotions are out of control and I am a coward because I never admit how I feel for her. What can I do to make sure she is the one and also to make her know how I feel?

– M.

Dear M.,

Demonstrate, Demonstrate, Demonstrate your love.

That is how you will make sure that she knows how much you care and love her and help you break through your fear.

It is okay to have fear– all of us have some fear of getting hurt. In fact, very few people feel that they are immune to heartbreak or a break-up and they are usually the ones who have a shield in front of their hearts that no one can penetrate no matter how much love they have coming towards them.

Actually, when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable we exude strength– not in a “macho” way but in a “quiet power” way– which is one of the most appealing qualities in a man.

Ease your way into this quiet power and communicate your feelings by giving her a gift. It could be as simple as a book of poetry she might like to read, or, if she has a favorite pastime get her a book about that pastime. You could write in the book, “I thought of you when I saw this.” This will say so much to her about the way you feel with just a few words.

Perform little gestures (it is the “little ones” that mean so much to women and make them feel loved) like asking her to go for a walk through an interesting neighborhood or bringing her a lunch that she would enjoy and then sitting and eating it in the park together.

As you give to her in small ways you will be able to receive her feedback about whether she is enjoying your company and appreciative of your efforts. If she is, you will become more comfortable with being generous with your words. Every time you are together make sure you give her a compliment, a warm embrace, and/or a kiss and when you are ready just say, “I love you, Samara.”

Allow it to happen naturally instead of feeling like you need to force it. It is these progressive small demonstrations of love that will build your confidence and your quiet power to communicate your love more and more sincerely each and every time. This approach will melt away your fear and help you trust yourself and trust love no matter what.

Keep sending your questions to me at Ask Karinna. I love hearing from you!

Wishing You Sacred Love,
Karinna Kittles-Karsten