Dear Karinna,

I’m wondering how to celebrate Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years. We almost broke up over the holidays but decided to stay together. We haven’t been sexually intimate for about 2 months now. For me it has been a time of trying to build trust between us and repair some hurts. So, at this time, what are some ways I can lovingly celebrate with him even though I’m not sure where this relationship is going?

–P.

Dear P.,

Think of a Valentine’s Celebration that would make your lover feel very good and would make him feel his masculinity. If he likes specific outdoors activities take him on a morning fishing trip, for a ski weekend, or for a game of volleyball– even if you are not into that sport as much as he is. Do something outside of your comfort zone but something that would be fun and meaningful to him. He may love certain music, so take him to see that type of band and rock out together.

Yes, of course he can do the same for you…. but if you are still on shaky ground why not surprise him first? Believe me– it will make the right impression and help you rebuild that important feeling… “that you really are into him.”

Rebuilding trust takes action upon action of trustworthy behavior to create a strong and healthy foundation in a relationship where the trust has been broken. For instance, take action by paying attention to the way you communicate and respond to his communication. Make the call in the middle of the day to say, “I’m thinking of you,” and the courtesy call if you are running late to meet up. Be honest about the feelings that are up for you. Be generous in your love for him and be receptive to his love. Be accountable to the relationship for as long as you are in it. Then, everyday will become a loving experience that will lead you to more love and sex again.

A wonderful, passionate, intimate relationship is about the on-going interest and curiosity in the other and Valentine’s is just one day to amplify that curiosity and celebrate it in style!

Have a Joyous Valentine’s!